As I embarked onto my second year of school I decided to write more as a form of expressing my emotions rather than writing about the world around me.
This piece is a fusion of those two worlds as I decided to abstain from substances and logged the reactions.
The themes strewn through this poem predicate the poems I would write in the future.
"Torn"
I find myself in an unfamiliar yet familiar room
Coughs reverberate through the air
As I examine my hazy surroundings
They say the feeling of getting high is resounding
But I have never felt more grounded
There my body lays on a dinky couch
With complete strangers all “connected” through…
What? What are we all doing in this room?
This doom and gloom is approaching at lightspeed
As bowls are packed and motivation is sacked
I love it, but I hate it
The comradery but the rotting me
The psychoanalytic thought but the burning pot
I want to break free but breaking free means
No one will see me
A person trying to scratch out of the smoky void
A person trying to avoid the future that presents itself constantly
Honestly, why do we do it? Is it the “getting lit” or the eternal sit
On that dinky couch that leads nowhere
I need air, not full of THC but filled with likeminded refugees of trees
To be released from the pangs of loneliness and to embraced by genuine friends
When will this pain end?
It ends with the lowering of a casket
So why even bother not smoking gas and getting lit?
Because I hate this fuzz and fuck these nugs
Man oh man, I hate drugs