self

|Substance| - "Soul Seeking" [6/11]

I thought I would find answers in other people.

This concept is explored and it leads to empowerment.

“Soul Seeking”

This numbing succumbing feeling

As I’m reeling from all the mistakes I make

Only to take less caution in future endeavors

Never to waver again at the proposition of connection

 

But the juxtaposition of a drifting magnet

To plastic bodies explains the non-adhesion

In this season for cuddling for warmth and embracing for no reason

Only to be teased for my listless wandering

 

As I’m pondering for an answer

But the answer is her but is it really?

Why must we crave connection when lines are frayed?

And get back out there when we get played

 

God damn, I wish she would’ve stayed

So I could cradler her heart in my arms

As her presence warms my soul

As our conversations cease to be droll

 

I ignore the issues

Begin to misuse my desire

My desire to retire nightly to

My name called lightly

 

The lips open and warm breath wisps

Her skin kisses mine as time stretches

My stomach wretches because this is all fake

 

As fake as a three dollar bill

As fake as a “make you smaller” pill

The only reality is the existence of my isolation

And the resistance to condemnation